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Mindfulness Practices That Actually Work (No Incense Required)

Mindfulness practices yo theyre keepin me from goin full tilt crazy and im no incense lightin guru trust. Sittin in my cramped seattle apartment rain poundin the pane like its pissed off at me got cold coffee and laptop blowin up with pings. Lifes total circus aint it? But I tripped over my sneakers into some mindful habits that sorta help me not freak. No candles no pretzel twists just real deal when im seconds from meltdown over spilled latte or whatever.

Why I Even Bothered With These Mindfulness Practices

Straight up I thought mindfulness was hippie bs for folks with lavender farms and endless time. Who meditates when dodgin emails and gum on sidewalks? But couple weeks ago full meltdown in safeway lot cryin over dropped burrito forgot work thing. Brain hamster wheel on steroids donezo. Stumbled Mindful.org tips not too crunchy so tried desperate huh?

These mindfulness practices aint monk level. Its not lettin brain wreck you. Still disaster kitchen dish apocalypse but tricks help stay present ish when fallin apart. Side note trader joes snacks bomb but parkin sucks anyway.

My Kinda-Sorta Mindfulness Practices No Hippie Stuff

Whats clicked for chaos gremlin me. Messy real from screwups.

1. “Breathe You Goof” Sticky Hack

Crinkly sticky on fridge “breathe you goof” scribbled after holdin breath zoom freak over slack typo. Grab pizza see it five deep breaths. Dumb but legit works. Harvard Health sez calms nerves when spiralin.

  • How: Inhale 4 hold 4 exhale 6 starin coffee stain counter cursin wifi.
  • Why: Free quick mutter life ok.
Hand holding neon yellow sticky note "Breathe, you goof" on messy charcoal counter.
Hand holding neon yellow sticky note “Breathe, you goof” on messy charcoal counter.

Wait tried meditaion apps voice soothin annoyed chucked phone. Expectations wrecked me thought blank mind instant zen nah brain races to-dos beat self double fail workaholic vibes.

2. Walkin Like No Rush Even Rushed

Soggie seattle streets therapy smell wet dog tho. Power walked earbuds blast dodgin brollies olympic style. Then Greater Good mindful walk slow squish sneakers rain smell. Felt dork guy hoodie side eye but chills brain mute.

  • Trick: Neon puddle glow focus stops nuts.
  • Tip: Skip pike place or get trampled.
Sneakers splash in Seattle puddle, neon "Stay Present" reflects, orange-teal on gray.
Sneakers splash in Seattle puddle, neon “Stay Present” reflects, orange-teal on gray.

Digress rain here nonstop embrace or die but helps ground ya know?

3. Five Min Pigeon Reset Thing

Green lake spot pigeon fight ring. Flop bench earbuds body scan Mindful.org check body top bottom. Lame but reboot. Last shoulders ears stress pigeon swiped bagel humblin moment.

  • Roll: Eyes shut that guy scan tension. Five min.
  • Jam: No app hassle shady birds.
Person with earbuds on bench, pigeons fight over bagel, neon blue-magenta on green.
Person with earbuds on bench, pigeons fight over bagel, neon blue-magenta on green.

Tried 10 min med once taco thoughts. Fail city.

Big Fails In My Mindfulness Attempts

No pro. Med 15 min grocery list. App voice yeet couch. Takeaway simple. Dont pinterest perfect. If present coffee brew win. Scroll twitter mindful? Popcorn hair trap.

Weird Bits Bout Stayin Present

Shook works trainwreck me. Stress barista tip hour. Habits sneak veggies mac cheese help. Not cured less burrito tears progress.

Like once rio hotel luxe miserable ungrateful shame dependancy. Practices shifted resistance.

Rant Wrap

Mindfulness practices new ish even walkin disaster. Apartment mess tripped sock calmer tho. I can you too. Sticky or slow walk try. Hack save butt? Comments curious.

Oh forgot RAIN recognize allow investigate non identify helps sticky thoughts. Anyway peace.

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